For over a year, retired United Nations staff members Jane Howard and Laurens Jolles have hosted a Ukrainian mother and son at their home in the British countryside.
Oksana and her 11-year-old son Sasha are among more than 100,000 Ukrainians who have been welcomed into homes across the United Kingdom after Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine in February 2022.
As we mark World Refugee Day (20 June), UNRIC spoke to the families about the impact the experience has had on their lives.
Compelled to act
Oksana and Sasha lived in a suburb of Kyiv that came under fire during the first few weeks of the war. Upon arrival in the UK, they did not speak a word of English, and had barely travelled outside of Ukraine.
“I was very afraid to go. I was worried because I did not know the language and customs of this country. I did not know how I would be able to find a common language with complete strangers. But it turned out to be quite simple. Jane and Laurens met us at the airport and from the first minute we met I knew I was among very kind people,” recounts Oksana.
With a self-contained space to offer, and finding they had more free time in their retirement, helping “seemed the natural thing to do”, explains Laurens, who worked at the UN Refugee Agency, UNHCR, for 35 years.
His work entailed trying to convince governments to open their doors to refugees, and to ensure populations were supportive. “Being on the other side now and showing that it is possible was something I was very happy to do,” he adds.
Settling into a new home
Upon arrival, Oksana and Sasha faced the hurdle of bureaucracy, including opening a bank account, finding a school, and registering with a doctor.
“Jane and Laurens spent their personal time helping us with everything. Their support, moral and material, is simply invaluable,” says Oksana.
One of the biggest difficulties was finding a job for Oksana, who had previously worked as a teacher and as an HR executive. The local job centre, described by Jane as “sympathetic and unbelievably helpful”, could offer agricultural work where English was not required, but they instead advised Oksana to study English to try and secure an office job.
“Oksana has come from zero to being able to chat really quite well,” notes Jane. She has since found work as a kitchen assistant.
It takes a village
Given the limited public transport in their rural location, Jane and Laurens have provided their guests with bikes, and taught Oksana to drive a manual car. Meanwhile Sasha has been thriving at the local village school.
“The school has pulled out all the stops by providing extra help through a teaching assistant. They have paid for his school uniforms. He gets free school meals. But more than that, the children are very welcoming,” details Jane.
Local support has also been invaluable. The library purchased children’s books in Ukrainian. Packages of toiletries were offered when refugees arrived, and the local food bank also provided help.
Jane and Laurens receive a stipend from the UK government and the local authority, who performed initial background checks on the hosts, check in on everyone’s well-being.
Exploring different cultures
The experience of living together has allowed each of them to learn more about their respective cultures.
Oksana has introduced her hosts to Ukrainian food, including borshch, soup made with beetroot; dumplings stuffed with cabbage, meat or cherries called pelmeni; and what Jane describes as “amazing desserts”. Laurens has observed among their Ukrainian guests “the fact that family is so important”, as is “respect for elderly people.”
Oksana also does traditional embroidery to make jewellery such as earrings and necklaces out of thread.
“For refugees, it is very important to hang on to their culture. When they arrived, they did not have any luggage except two little backpacks with a sopilka, a Ukrainian folk instrument a bit like a flute,” says Jane.
“That really makes you think. If you have only got a rucksack to pack, you still bring something that reminds you of home.”
Lasting values of the UN
As former UN staff, Jane and Laurens’ professional experience influenced their decision to host refugees.
“You do not lose that desire to change things or help people,” notes Jane, who is a former Head of Media for the UN World Food Programme and has also worked for the International Labour Organization and UNICEF.
Laurens worked for UNHCR in India, Türkiye and former Yugoslavia, where he met Jane while she was working as a foreign correspondent for the BBC. They went on to live in Russia, Iran, Switzerland, Syria and finally Italy. Throughout his lifelong UN career, Laurens worked on the protection of refugees, and before retiring was UNHCR’s Regional Representative for Southern Europe
“I saw how difficult it was. And I saw how incredibly resilient people could be and how a little help coming from other people could be useful,” he details.
World Refugee Day
Oksana now faces a difficult choice over whether to return to Kyiv to care for her elderly mother, or to remain in the UK. Whatever her decision, Jane says “she is always welcome back.” The experience for them has been “overwhelmingly positive. We do not regret one minute.”
For Oksana, she says she is “infinitely grateful to fate” for meeting Jane and Laurens, praising their “self-sacrifice, kindness, decency and sensitivity.”
“They gave us shelter, a cozy home, confidence in the near future, protection, and most importantly – a feeling of a big family in which you will be understood, supported and helped.”
As we mark World Refugee Day, Jane urges people to remember refugees “need your help all year round”. Laurens warns against listening to “negative rhetoric”, adding: “We should never forget that we one day could be refugees. So, treat people as you would like to be treated.”
United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres underlines how refugees need and deserve support and solidarity.
“This Day reminds us of our duty to protect and support refugees — and our obligation to open more avenues of support,” he says. “I call on the world to harness the hope that refugees carry in their hearts. Let us match their courage with the opportunities they need, every step of the way.”
See also:
- The UN and the war in Ukraine: key information
- UNHCR Global Trends 2022
- 7 reasons why the world must keep supporting humanitarian response in Ukraine